Readers as Writers

I don’t belong here in this poor excuse of the city. My husband is a nasty, poor man whom I do not love. The man I love is married, but he loves me, I know he does. He tells me every time we meet that he’s going to leave her for me. That hag doesn’t deserve him like I do anyways. He treats me the way I deserve and showers me in his wealth. Its all I need. –Myrtle, the Great Gatsby. 

*Not Finished*

In the News(papers)

"If it's supposed to feel like this... Then why does it feel like this?" as I ask myself, the tears steadily streaming down my face, looking over my knees and into the dark despair known as my backyard. As I twist the large rock of a ring on my finger that He gave to me, the uncomfortable pit in my stomach, reminding me of my unfortunate fate. To marry Him, can only be described as torture. I do not love the "man", I could never love the "man". To even title Him a man is unacceptable. He's a rodent, a disgrace, a burden, an incompatible idiot whom has stuck his nose so far up in the air that I am shocked he has yet to catch a deadly disease. I’m sad to admit that I hope for this deadly disease to be sucked up into his immune system, and put his body out of its misery. He has changed me, and not for the better.

“Carrington how’s your soup?” “Great Father, thank you.” Looking back down at the untouched soup, I’m torn. I want to eat, I need to eat and keep my strength to fight the serpent I refuse to recognize as my fiancé, but I cannot bring myself to even touch the spoon. I want to die. I want to escape his grasp once and for all. Starving myself is not how I would like things to go, but I never seem to have a choice in my life anyways. I could run away, but he would find me. To kill him myself isn’t possible, he has no weaknesses. He is as sharp as a tack and always on guard. I feel sorry for the man, but he has done this to himself. Feeling his hand slide from my knee to mid-thigh, underneath the tablecloth, déjà vu takes over. I remember the other nights that these same actions took place, and I know how I will be spending the rest of this night. And I am frightened. I only wish could experience a true love with a man, and not Him. But my parents would never allow it. I am in Hell.

Memorable Passage

This may be slightly cliché, but the quote that comes to mind is one from Looking For Alaska by John green. I know being a teenager, I imagine the future a lot. But with all of the planning and excitement, there's always this feeling that isn't secure. When I read this quote, it finally put the last 4 years of my life into words, and I think that's why it has kind of stuck with me.

Don't quote me on that

writers as readers

            1.     When I’m wanting to be able to focus on my reading and plan on reading for a long period of time, I must be comfortable. Dressing down in some comfy lounge wear is a need. Also, I need a comfortable seat and scenery that’s calm. I typically like to have a little background music, but it can’t be any songs I know too well, otherwise ill end up singing along. Once these needs are met, I can read for hours and hours.

7.    I remember the first book I truly read as a child, was Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo. I had saw the movie a dozen times, and one day at Barnes and Nobles I saw the book and decided I wanted it. Notice how I said I only wanted it, not that I planned on reading it. But for unknown reasons, I began reading it and couldn’t stop. I loved the book. My mom, being the nosey woman she is, noticed this and was absolutely thrilled. She was so happy because my older sister hated reading, and had feared I would turn out the same way. So seeing me actually read and enjoy this chapter book at such a young age, gave her hope. But her obsessing over the fact I enjoyed reading, leads me to believe that that’s the reason I refused to really read anything again until I hit high school. I know she didn’t mean to obsess over it so much that I get sick of reading, but it happened.

4.    One of my best memories connected with reading involves my wonderful grandma. I remember I used to spend the night at her house all the time, and every night we would read three children’s books of my choice. She always had the funniest selection of books, but every time I would choose the same three. I don’t recall the names, but I do the stories. It’s not only the hilarious stories the stand out to me, but the scene and the woman reading them. We would sit down in her living room and she would read these books to me using different voices for each character, making me laugh. Sometimes, to this day, I still make her read them to me.

9. When I finished reading The Great Gatsby, I was very upset. I was sad because he died for the wrong reasons, pissed because it was all Daisy’s fault and she couldn’t care less, and happy because even though Gatsby died, he died with hope that the phone call was form Daisy.

Writers Dreaming

1.      The caged bird sings for many reasons, but with the over arching reason that it makes us free. Being able to voice opinions and confessions gives everybody a decision.

2.      I believe that everybody has this power. But that doesn’t mean that laziness, limits, and lack of focus don’t get in the way.

3.      I believe that pondering and speaking about any bad thing feeds it power, through the universe. Focusing on the bad can only bring you down, and release that energy out to others. Throwing the thought of that unclassified bad thing away, diminishes its power completely.

4.     I definitely think that dreams teach us things about ourselves that we would never be able to find out without them. May dreams have definitely shocked me before, but I find myself collecting it and thinking about that dream the next day, and being able to apply it life.

5.     Depending on the day, I could definitely use a break from talking.  I find myself not listening to others, and only thinking about what I will say next. But then other days, I could not say a word for the life of me. Whether I’m upset, tired, or both, I will think/ want to say something important, but I just cant find the energy.

6.     So far, all I know is English, and I am ashamed. Living in America, I believe everyone should be fluent in both English and Spanish. I may know some key terms, but not enough. I would also like to be able to speak French. I believe it’s a beautiful language and I plan on spending much of my life across the Atlantic. Another language that would be interesting would be mandarin.

7.     I find myself remembering certain things clearly, that others have no clue about. Remembering my childhood kind of fades in and out, but if I really take the time to think, I can remember things that even surprise myself.

8.     I somewhat understand what she means, but I’m not sure if there is really a world of difference. Yes some peoples truths are different than others, but facts are facts and can’t be changed.

9.     Just because of this day and age, my small mind is easily occupied by my cell hone (social media). It even becomes a distraction while I’m trying to do some work that I dread, but I can always put it down when needed.

10. I completely agree. To make something easy to read takes lots of details, and details are the hardest part. Writing can be a pain, because you know and understand what you’re thinking, but to put it into beautiful, flowing words, with a great amount of explanation, so that the person that make read the writing is convinced they thought of it themselves

11.  I believe that the science behind things getting g harder to learn after 25 is correct. But the amount of understanding the importance of learning and the dedication that most get when they’re older also improves they’re ability to learn.

If I were in charge

Heaven On Earth.

If I were in charge of the world, no one would know wrong, only right. Segregation, racism, homophobia, rape, and limits would never exist. Heaven on earth is what I would like to call it. I understand that these things are already trying to be contained, and I’m not absolutely sure as to how I would complete my promises just yet, but it would happen. I believe that defusing the main source that causes people do participate in such wrong treatment towards other. These sources could be money, power, and certain laws/rules.  Now I wont go into detail as to which rules, or how to take away money or power properly, but I believe this could be a good start. There are many wonderful people out there already that could easily make this change without stripping things, but others just need a nudge. Taking proper percussions could prove this plan to be a successful one. It all just depends on every individual, and what they want from their lives.

Caged Bird

Where did this start?

I don't know why I was born
or the eternity this planet has been alive.
Confused where these creatures all came from
and where they might go.
Who can tell me the stories I wonder about so much.
Until that time comes, the doubt will never leave.
Never can I be sure
never can I fully understand,
all I can do is move on
Like everything isn't a question.

Dream Threads

I dream about boy butts.

As my eyes close tight
And I drift out of reality, into my dreams.
I begin to imagine a blurry bubble
As my focus starts to zoom out, the bubble doubles horizontally.
Continuing until I see the full picture,
I finally realize what it is I'm looking at.
Butt, Boys butt.
Yes there are threads to cover, but that means nothing.
As soon as it appears, it has vanished.
Bursting into flames.
Now left confused, and disappointed, all

I see is fire.